Friends Are The Key To A Successful Life
Want to sell more ? You need friends.
Want more links to your blog ? You need friends.
Want a better job ? You need friends.
Want to feel satisfied with your life ? You need friends.
I know of a guy who’s barely over 40 and heads a successful organization. Talented, fun, smart, etc., started with nothing.
His real genius seems to be in acquiring friends….everywhere. It’s not an accident that he can pick up a phone and call people in multiple states and get a favor. He counts his friends by the hundreds, not tens.
Not all of these friends are what you and I would classify as important. There are friends in high places and there are friends in low places. There are good friends, loyal friends, pretty friends, ugly friends, friends that wear suits, friends that wear jeans, friends that wear whatever they can afford, friends that wear silk, etc.
How Does He Do It ?
He recently outlined his system for someone and I’m going to outline it for you …right here, right now.
Pay attention, try it for one week, one month, whatever you feel like, but please come back and let me know how it worked for you.
Day One – Write a letter, email or note to someone you haven’t written in a long time. No phone calls, that’s later. It’s gotta be handwritten.
Day Two – Smile more. Be conscious of the expression on your face for the whole day. If this doesn’t work immediately in getting someone to speak to you or smile back, you need to take a smiling class, ’cause you apparently aren’t very good at it.
Day Three – Say something really kind about someone you know. Want to accelerate the process ? Say something nice about 5 or 10 people.
Day Four – Call up someone you’ve just met and would like to know better. Invite them to lunch and go to their favorite restaurant.
Day Five – Find someone who is lonesome or neglected. Invite them to go somewhere with you. Yes, this one’s tough, but it’s worth it.
Day Six – Encourage someone to talk about himself/herself. Draw out something they’ve never told you about. Pay attention to them as they talk.
Day Seven – Talk to a stranger during the day. Stop walking. Really listen when you ask how they’re doing. Answer with a smile.
If you like the results after one week….Lather, Rinse and Repeat !
I’ve updated and edited this post after 1 1/2 years because it’s till effective and there are new readers who’ve never seen it.
Please comment below and get the party started again!
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These are great ideas!
This week I have been posting on the importance of being interpersonally competent. These ideas fit right in.
While I like them all, I particularly like the ideas for days 3 and 7.
Bud Bilanich
The Common Sense Guy
http://www.CommonSenseGuy.com
Thanks Bud. I appreciate you taking time to comment.
Looking at your blog, I see we value the same core idea…Common sense and simple ways to deal with problems.
I’ll be doing a post to alert my readers to your blog.
These points are sheer genius for their simplicity and ease of implementation. Thanks so much for putting them together in such an easy format. I love #4 the most. Well done!
I really like this post. It’s something I’ve been working on. Particularly on writing comments and emails. I find that sometimes I have to remind myself to acknowledge a person before I respond to what they last said.
This is a keeper, Mike.
Thanks Phil, I appreciate your time in coming by and commenting.
Thanks Liz – You’ve taught me well with the way you handle those that comment on your blog and how you are ALWAYS the nice one.
Mike, can’t agree with you more on the value of friends to leading a happy life. I do believe listening is one of the more important aspects of getting and keeping friends (your day six) – when I’m with groups at dinners or other types of small gatherings I always ask everyone to tell me “one thing about themselves nobody knows”. You find out the most interesting things you’d ordinarily never ask about, and you have a “benchmark” for that person that almost always deepens the connection, and in many instances leads to a closer friendship. Thanks for sharing this system.
Me! [raising hand] I can use more friends! What a great recipe. Simple and do-able. I plan to act on this one!
I know it’s June, but we would all do well to remember the last few minutes of “It’s a Wonderful Life!”
Thanks, Mike!
Hey Starbucker,
Thanks for backing me up with real world data.
Thanks for sharing your system, too.
Hey Tom,
Thanks for that visual, I had forgotten about those scenes.
I appreciate your comment.
I’m new to computers (3 years self-taught)and I’m a proto-blogger (nice euphemism for “newbie”, eh). As I’ve only been blogging for two months I have been on the hunt for blog articles exactly like your own. Thanks so much for writing it.:)
You’re welcome. I consider myself a pseudo-blogger or sometimes a psycho-blogger….which means I’m crazy and can’t write a lick !
Thanks for coming by and thanks for taking time to comment.
This is something I have tried to teach the younger women and college age girls in our church. So many of them are sad and lonely, and wish they felt more connected, wish they had more friends.
After a few months of this, they begin to complain that they are not in the “in crowd” of our church, and that the problem is a church problem. They wan to be called, to be fawned over, to be treated with importance, to be valued, to be loved.
So here is the hard part: none of these things are bad things to want! They are good things to want! But even thought it is an expression, and no one listens to expressions anymore, the key to having friends is being a friend. You cannot stand in a corner scowling at everyone because no one is being nice to you! It is a self-perpetuating problem. No one comes to talk to scowly girl in corner, scowly girl feels left out and hurt and angry, scowly girl complains to anyone that does try to befriend her, scowly girl eventually leaves church because it was too “clicky” and no one would be her friend!
I love your list. It is practical and doable, and people can only benefit from it. My I shamelessly borrow it for the benefit of the above mentioned “scowlies” in my life. I think it will really help them get out of the cycle and find the friends they really want.
Egana at Egana’s Tapdance http://egana.wordpress.com
Egana-
Thanks for a comment that adds to the conversation.
You can use this info as you see fit and I hope you help someone with it.
And, oh by the way, your blog is a great visual event. I love the color and the design.
Come back soon.
Thanks, I am glad you like it. It is a fun theme and I was lucky to find it right off, so I didn’t have to go through theme after theme after theme, redesigning and tweaking and so forth… WordPress makes it easy on us “digitally estranged” types.
I am enjoying blogging, and the expanded discussions blogging makes available, like this one…
After my initial response (above) I thought further about your list. I think the list as a “list of things to do, to get what you want, which ultimately is more friends” begs the question:
How would a person apply this in a virtual environment? This action list (which, by the way, draws a person out of themselves and encourages them to think about and give of themselves to others) is pretty focused on interaction with other people in real time and a real area. I would be interested in comments that made application for interactions with people online, the bloggers, the emailers, the chatters, the virtual people? Anyone?
This a wonderful idea, to reach out to strangers and have something nice to say to others. I found this a wonderful way to make friends.
But keeping up with friendships takes a lot of time too. There are friends who would like to drop over whenever they are bored, and sit through for hours. What do you suggest for them.
Thank you Mike for sharing these wonderful ideas.
Shail
Well Shail,
I suggest setting rules for those kinds of friends, as in, we plan our get togethers, we don’t do the spontaneous, because our schedules don’t allow for that.
That and wearing clothes ! I see your link doesn’t lead to that, but ,maybe they would leave earlier if you weren’t nude !
This was great Mike! Thanks for reposting it in 2010 so us newbs could read it.
I really only did it for YOU, my friend
I just don’t want everybody to be jealous!
Your travels will ensure that you need and have the opportunity to make many, many new friends, so enjoy the ride and be safe!
For those who don’t follow my friend Karol, head over to Ridiculously Extraordinary and enjoy the ride … without the airports and bad water
Hi Mike,
Nice post. I think this advice is useful for anyone who just wants to lead a better, happier life in a kinder, gentler world. It is amazing how much smaller, and nicer the world feels when you are self aware, respectful of your impact on others and are good to the people around you, whether you know them or not.
Thanks Richard!
I appreciate you dropping by and taking time to comment.
Come back soon and bring friends
Just came across here… hope I am welcome here.
Constant communication is very important to friends.
Hope I could come back and interact with other members here.
Thank you.
Phil
Wow, I’m so glad you wrote this! I’m just finishing up my last year at community college, so next fall, I’ll be getting my first taste of university life.
I almost never hang out with “friends” (I’ll perhaps go somewhere with someone three times a year) and only wave to a few people I know in the halls. I regularly (meaning at least once a month) talk to two people. I’m very socially awkward and shy, and though I don’t make any efforts to be social (I don’t find it appealing until I’m forced into a social situation, and then it’s usually fun), I still, on occasion, complain to myself about how alone I am.
I realized that if I wanted to make friends, to just build an atmosphere in which I could see people I knew just about everywhere and say “hi” at least, I would need to take the initiative. So I googled “how to make friends” and your article showed up. I’m very excited to try it out, it looks great! A little scared, but excited. I may even try starting this summer. Whenever I do give this list a go, I’ll be sure to relate the results.
Thanks for making my day, Tara … and that’s one little thing you can do to always have plenty of friends, just make someone’s day and they’ll be hangin’ all over you!
i moved an hour away from my home city, which all of my friends are, about a year ago. I only made one good friend in my new city which i do treasure and appreciate, but i would like to have more friends to socialize with. Its really hard for me to make new friends since i know no one except my bf and only one girlfriend (which is his guy best friends gf). I did not try everything on the list in the exact order. But i am one to smile at strangers at a party and compliment on how a couple people look as well. I got a contact number once, but never heard back which was discouraging….. it just doesnt seem like any new good friends will be coming my way unless im forced to seem them all the time like how i made my only good girl friend . ughz
I printed this out and handed it to all my drivers and people in contact with customers. I genuinely want all my employees to make friends with our customers.