I’ve waited about a week after I saw King Kong before I wrote this. Trying to be subjective, instead of emotional. A new thing for me, if I do say so myself.
I was 13 when Jessica Lange and Jeff Bridges burned up the screen and Kong Kicked King size butt.
I’m 42 now and I just didn’t get as much out of Kong as I did then.
There was way too much computer generated, unbelievable footage. Not that Kong is believable, but there were far too many instances of just absolutely stupid computer generated lunacy.
I mean, really, what the hell do dinosaurs have to do with Kong ? 
Was Peter Jackson just jealous that he didn’t get to do Jurassic Park ? Dinosaurs running thru a gorge, with people between their legs like a Laurel & Hardy meet Dracula movie. C’mon Pete.
Kong fighting 35, or was it 3 T-Rex’s ?
A scrawny, not incredibly pretty girl outrunning a T-Rex ? C’mon Pete.
I don’t read local newspapers, thanks to USA Today, so I haven’t the foggiest what it’s doing locally, but nationwide it ain’t all that and a box of crackers.
I quote USA Today, Monday December 19th :
” Highly touted film takes in less than predicted. “
No kidding ?! You know why ? Because people who saw it told their friends that P. Jack ruined Kong and took over 3 hours to do it ! That’s why.
3 freakin’ hours I had to sit and wish Jeff Bridges would appear instead of Lawrence of Nose-rabia, or whoever the hell it was that played the lead Kong chaser. 
And Black Jack should find some other way to earn enough to keep him in cheeseburgers…acting ain’t gonna do it.
P. Jack took a helluva animal and romanticized the alpha-maleness out of him. 
Too many sappy scenes where he’s getting all googley eyed at the scrawny girl. 
And can she stare longingly up at a monkey or what ? She must be the greatest monkey starer of all time.
Kong, THE Kong, from ’76 is gonna be my Christmas gift to myself, on DVD. I’ve gotta show the real Kong to the family I heaped the Kong-love on after hearing that P. Jack was gonna re-do the big hairy boy. I couldn’t wait for them to see him….Kong ! King of all he sees ! Bad Boy of the Jungle ! Able to scale tall natives in a single bound. Building climbing son-of-a-gun. Not that phoney car chasin’ sissy boy who stares at scrawny girls.
According to USA Today:
” The footprint of Kong looks smaller “
According to Mike, it’s because Peter Jackson doesn’t remember the real Kong from “33 and ’76. All he has is a romanticized version that got all Lorded up and played Rings around his mind and came out thru his rose colored glasses.
PS – Those little thumbnails are from KingKongMovie.com…fair use, you know.
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