King Kong Was A Disappointment

by Mike Sigers on December 24, 2005

I’ve waited about a week after I saw King Kong before I wrote this. Trying to be subjective, instead of emotional. A new thing for me, if I do say so myself.

I was 13 when Jessica Lange and Jeff Bridges burned up the screen and Kong Kicked King size butt.

I’m 42 now and I just didn’t get as much out of Kong as I did then.

There was way too much computer generated, unbelievable footage. Not that Kong is believable, but there were far too many instances of just absolutely stupid computer generated lunacy.

I mean, really, what the hell do dinosaurs have to do with Kong ? T-Rex

Was Peter Jackson just jealous that he didn’t get to do Jurassic Park ? Dinosaurs running thru a gorge, with people between their legs like a Laurel & Hardy meet Dracula movie. C’mon Pete.

Kong fighting 35, or was it 3 T-Rex’s ?

A scrawny, not incredibly pretty girl outrunning a T-Rex ? C’mon Pete.Scrawny Girl

I don’t read local newspapers, thanks to USA Today, so I haven’t the foggiest what it’s doing locally, but nationwide it ain’t all that and a box of crackers.

I quote USA Today, Monday December 19th :

Highly touted film takes in less than predicted. “

No kidding ?! You know why ? Because people who saw it told their friends that P. Jack ruined Kong and took over 3 hours to do it ! That’s why.

3 freakin’ hours I had to sit and wish Jeff Bridges would appear instead of Lawrence of Nose-rabia, or whoever the hell it was that played the lead Kong chaser. Kong Chaser

And Black Jack should find some other way to earn enough to keep him in cheeseburgers…acting ain’t gonna do it.Black Jack

P. Jack took a helluva animal and romanticized the alpha-maleness out of him. Kong

Too many sappy scenes where he’s getting all googley eyed at the scrawny girl. Sissy Boy

And can she stare longingly up at a monkey or what ? She must be the greatest monkey starer of all time.The Monkey Stare

Kong, THE Kong, from ‘76 is gonna be my Christmas gift to myself, on DVD. I’ve gotta show the real Kong to the family I heaped the Kong-love on after hearing that P. Jack was gonna re-do the big hairy boy. I couldn’t wait for them to see him….Kong ! King of all he sees ! Bad Boy of the Jungle ! Able to scale tall natives in a single bound. Building climbing son-of-a-gun. Not that phoney car chasin’ sissy boy who stares at scrawny girls.

According to USA Today:

The footprint of Kong looks smaller

According to Mike, it’s because Peter Jackson doesn’t remember the real Kong from “33 and ‘76. All he has is a romanticized version that got all Lorded up and played Rings around his mind and came out thru his rose colored glasses.

PS – Those little thumbnails are from KingKongMovie.com…fair use, you know.

Post to Twitter

Don't miss a thing! Subscribe to our RSS Feed or sign up for our e-mail updates (in the sidebar). To leave a comment, click on the post title, then scroll down to the bottom. Thanks!

{ 1 trackback }

Simplenomics » Blog Archive » More Woes For King Kong
February 12, 2006 at 3:19 am

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Stacy May 2, 2006 at 2:13 pm

Ok, Have you ever seen Kong 33? What in the hell do you mean “What in the hell do dinasours have to do with Kong?” Have you bothered to view the original -NO ‘76 wasn’t the original. Just because that version didn’t bother to put in the dinosaurs doesn’t mean they weren’t supposed to be there. Skull Island was ALL about dinos….
For the record you are an idiot…
Bye now.
Stacy

Reply

Mike Sigers May 2, 2006 at 8:36 pm

For the record, Stacy, I may or may not be an idiot, but you DEFINITELY are.

Surely a big brain like yours would know that I could track your IP address to The Goodman Group in Chaska, MN.

What ? You didn’t know that I’d be able to do that ? It’s public knowledge.

Be more careful next time. Don’t talk so mean to people with blogs.

Some of them would publicize your info. Some of them would have your IP blacklisted. Some of them are not as nice as me.

I don’t do any of that to people who speak to me like I’m as dumb as they are.

Or maybe you did it because you’re just an idiot !

Reply

Anthony June 26, 2006 at 12:15 am

You’re NUTS!! The movie was great !! one of the best of the year. I loved it and thought it was far better than the 76 version.

Reply

Mike Sigers June 26, 2006 at 8:25 am

Thanks for sharing Anthony.

Sorry, I wasn’t as thrilled with it as you were, but that’s what opinions are all about…everybody has one and thinks their’s to be the most important.

I know I do !

Reply

Leave a Comment

*
To prove you're a person (not a spam script), type the security word shown in the picture. Click on the picture to hear an audio file of the word.
Click to hear an audio file of the anti-spam word