Kentucky DOT Issues Flyswatters

So here I am heading down the Audubon Parkway today. It connects Owensboro, Ky and Henderson, KY. About 25 miles, give or take 3.

There’s a toll booth that extracts .50 cents for your driving pleasure. You can take ( State ) Highway 60, if you want a no charge 2 lane route. I chose toll and four lanes ’cause I was gonna go as fast as legally possible.

I use the cup holder in my console for change collection, for just such moments as this. When I get 50 pennies built up, I go the toll route to divest myself of them.

Today I dropped in all 50 pennies at once. What’s the big deal with that, you ask ?

Well, there’s a sign on top of the change collector that says something to the tune of , ” If you’re broke enough to use pennies, please deposit them one…at…a…time. ”

If you knew me very well, you’d know that sooner or later I’m gonna have to see why you have to deposit them one…at…a…time. I just will. Have to. No doubt.

Today was D-Day. That stands for Deposit Day. AllAtOnce ! At least 20 other times over the last 16 months, I’ve done it one…at…a…time. Or close to it.

What the heck happens, you wonder ? Does it speak to you ? Does it flash some lights and ring bells ? Does it spit ‘em back out ?

None of the above.

What happens is a large woman with a flyswatter comes out of her booth and pokes at the pile of pennies with a State of Kentucky issued flyswatter and gives you a stern look while pointing at the sign. Honest, a flyswatter and she uses the handle while holding it by the business end.

I’m assuming the stern look was because of the cold temperatures. Surely she wouldn’t give me that look, me the customer, me the only reason she has a job, me Mr. 50 Pennies himself, because I threw all 50 in at once.

I mean really, over the years since that toll booth was built, you’d figure that the state had collected enough to have the machine serviced so that customers can throw whatever they want, coin wise, in there and have it do it’s job. If not, maybe they better up the toll to .55 cents and when they get enough collected they can have the machine serviced or even put in a new one.

Why do you expect me, the customer to change ( get it ? ) the way I throw coins ? Shouldn’t I be able to just dump ‘em in and let it count ? The coin counters at the bank work like that. They don’t have to drop ‘em in one…at…a…time.

And c’mon, a flyswatter ? At least get those poor souls that collect our coins a real instrument of pokiness !

How about even having some business sponsor the pokers ?

Think about it. ” This episode of coin poking brought to you by All-State Insurance. You’re in Good Hands With All-State and Your Coins Are, Too ! ”

Or maybe the Casino Aztar gambling boat in Evansville (IN ), ” Got Poker ? We Do ! ”

There’s a myriad of ideas that we can throw out there to help the state change the way they do this pokey deed.

Next week, I’ll go that way again and I’ll take my camera with me and get you a picture of all this coin operated fun. Count on it ( get it ).

Sorry, that was bad. But not as bad as State issued flyswatters.

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