Centuries of success have proven that compliments work wonderfully well. Yet, few salespeople know the difference between a compliment and flattery. Nor do they know how to properly use a compliment.
I was in a retail store the other day and heard an older man gripe about the salesperson’s attempt to flatter him. He said, ” I’d give almost anything if salespeople would quit trying to flatter people. It doesn’t get them anywhere and it makes me mad. “
The problem wasn’t the salesperson using a compliment, it was that he used flattery. There is a major difference.
If he’d known the difference, he’d have been able to use it (properly) and he’d have made a sale.
Are you wondering what the difference is between a compliment and flattery ?
Here it is :
A compliment is what the person wanted to hear, while flattery is praise to which he is totally indifferent.
To put it simply, don’t start complimenting someone you’ve just met, because you don’t know what they want to hear and they know you don’t.
How do you find out what they want to hear ? Shut your mouth and let them open theirs. They’ll clue you in as to what’s important to them.
As long as you’re complimenting something they’re proud of, you’ll do okay. As long as it’s something important to them, you’ll be okay.
Done properly it will improve your sales and forge better relationships.
Done too soon and/or poorly, it will bite you in the soft spots you’d rather not be bitten in.
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Excellent.
Mike, this is sound advice for life in general. Whether we’re selling cars or ourselves, compliments open a path to mutual respect.
Thanks Brian !
Yo’re very right, Carolyn. BTW, that’s a beautiful color as the background on your blog.
Mike, a very good post.
I view a compliment is recognizing something that IS,(a good job, neat appearence, etc.), while flattery is attempting to stroke someones ego that may or may not be real(sexy, masculine, cool, etc).
Unfortunately, I think your poster accurately reflects today’s corporate environment.
Hey Jonathan, you are exactly right in your definition,
Unfortunately, you’re right about the poster too.
Thanks for taking time to comment and that post on your blog is VERY strong and made better use of my post than I ever could have.
Thanks for the link leak and link love.
I complimented my 9-year old today.
First, I described the specific action he performed
Second, I discussed why it was important
Third, I talked about how it would benefit him in the future if he kept it up.
I like your blog, Mike. I pick up actionable tips that I can use immediately, I enjoy reading the comments, and your posts and comments frequently make me think. I don’t care what you say, I’m telling others about you:-)
Regards,
Glenn
Shhhh Glennn. You keep that up and I’ll have to try hard to live up to the press.
I try my best, within the small amount of time I have, to give simple, short, sweet actionable tips that are already proven to work.
They seem far too simple to a lot of folks, but they are the same one’s that were working at the turn of the century about 106 years ago and they’ll work 106 years from now.
Humans haven’t really changed and probably won’t.
Thanks for the compliments and I’m glad you used them correctly with your wee one.
Hearing how you used a compliment to make a point makes it all worthwhile.
I sincerely think that was well said.
I agree. More people should understand that folks can tell when people are saying words that have no substance.
That listening thing really does make a difference, doesn’t it?
Thanks for posting this.
Thanks Liz.
I’m glad you stopped by and left a little bit of yourself in my comment section.
An interesting post Mike.
Far too often people aren’t concerned with listening and just like to talk and talk. The problem with talking is that you never learn anything.
I’m glad I stopped by.
Wow David !
What a great looking blog you have. Did you do all the modding ?
Was it a theme before you pimped it out ?
Thanks for coming by and for the comment.
I like how almost every comment contained a compliment.
Good post, by the way, and I’m not just saying that for the sake of irony