Simply Human Nature

Take any young, rich, badly educated heiress with no morals and change her role to one of a salesperson and what would happen to her ?

Well, in my enormous opinion, she’d talk mostly about her favorite subject … herself.

If she did sense the need to talk about the customer, which is highly unlikely, she’d probably say, ” Now then, let’s talk about you. What did you think of my latest video ? “

Unfortunately, there are WAY too many salespeople out there who are just like this. They’re enamored with their product or company.

Their favorite word is “we“, not “you” and that turns the sales process completely around, 180 degrees away from the right direction.

Smart salesmen know that there is only one topic that’s worth talking about and that’s what your product/service can do for the customer.

A lot of customers, I’m not one of them, will be courteous to stupid salespeople who do this. They listen to you talk about how many you can make, how much you like making the product, how your sales are great, etc.

But in his mind, he’s wondering what this has to do with him and his business.

I just read about a salesman who recently passed to the next world. He was a prize winning botanist, too. He won several honors, was awarded a college degree and been a cult hero to those in his hobby.

His customers never knew any of this, because he never bothered talking to them with facts about himself.

Or maybe he was smart enough to know what his customers wanted to talk about … themselves and their business.

One of the greatest books on salesmanship doesn’t have the word sales in the title or in it’s contents, but it’s been said that if you’ll read the book every 6 months for the rest of your career, you’ll become a much better salesperson.

The book is Lord Chesterfield’s Letters To His Son. It was published well over 200 years ago, to be used as a guide for his son to use to become a better person, a gentleman and a success.

Salesmanship wasn’t the intention, nor was it even mentioned, but the rules the brilliant diplomat/author put on paper to help his son thru the various social contacts and situations, form a perfect guide for the salesperson who wants to master the human side of his profession.

One of the topics that Lord Chesterfield stresses in many of the letters is the necessity of using compliments to please others.

” Sincere praise is always good. You will easily discover every man’s prevailing vanity by observing his favorite topic of conversation, for every man talks most of what he has most a mind to be thought to excel in. Touch him there and you touch him to the quick. “

The lesson here is for the salesman to listen while the prospect talks, make a mental note of what he is most interested in, and then, when the opportunity arises, steer the conversation towards that topic.

It will take a tremendous gaffe to get a prospect/customer/client to ever leave you, if he feels important, comfortable and desired while you’re together.

Compliments, not flattery, will go a long way towards more sales.

I found my copy on Alibris.com and there’s still several there. Amazon has several versions, too.

Last week I wrote a post about The Art of Handling Others. One of the best comments came from Tony Clark, who blogs and ‘toons over at Success From The Nest. Tony’s as skilled with words as he is with ‘toons, so I asked ( begged ) him to create a graphic for me for an upcoming ebook and I asked ( begged ) him to write a review of the book he mentions in his comment.

One short week later, I have both. The graphic will remain hidden until I turn loose of the ebook, but the book review is yours today for the low price of a couple of minutes invested in reading.

Turn on your listener and prepare to be learned …. here’s Tony !

Do you know how to listen? Listening is very different than hearing, and it’s one of the most important skills a business person can have.

A few years ago, in an effort to improve my own listening skills, I found the book ” Listening: The Forgotten Skill ” by Madelyn Burley-Allen. It has continually been a valuable resource, one that I frequently recommend to my clients.

From a sales and business perspective, being able to really listen to the needs of your customers can greatly improve your relationships. In this age of choice, it’s more important than ever to establish yourself as someone who can clearly understand your customers’ needs. “Listening” uses a variety of tools and exercises to help you better understand this art of listening.

Using the same basic format of other Wiley Self-Teaching Guides, “Listening” utilizes the framework of a self study guide. More than just a reference, it uses Burley-Allen’s real-world methods to show you how to (from the back cover):

- Eliminate distractions and improve your concentration on what is being said
- Locate key words, phrases, and ideas while listening
- Cut through your own listening biases
- Interpret body language clues
- Ask constructive, nonthreatening questions that elicit real information
- Get others to listen to you
- Master a whole range of listening skills that you can use on the job and in your personal life.

To me, the book does a great job because it gets right to the point - and to practical exercises that help develop your listening skills. Rather than spending time analyzing why we need to listen, or the fact that most of us don’t, the majority of the book focuses on teaching us how.

At right around 200 pages, it is packed with useful tools and is light on theory. I think we already know why we need help being better listeners. What we need is the pragmatics to improve – and “Listening” does an excellent job of delivering.

Thanks again Tony. How’s that for asking and receiving ? There’s a rare trait in today’s world, it’s called doing what you say.

The book, by the way, is available at Amazon for around $8.75 used and $12.89 new.

Now, everybody click thru and read Tony’s blog, subscribe to his feed and generally help me thank him.

One of the most valuable skills you, as a salesperson, can learn is how to handle people successfully. When you become a master at this, you’ll be able to handle almost any situation and you’ll be in demand as an employee, as a supplier, as a coworker, as a friend and as a leader.

Being in demand means being in control. Being in control means you write your own ticket. If you write your own ticket and aren’t happy with what you write, well, I can’t help you with that.

Salespeople, of all the career paths out there, need to master The Art of Handling Others. Handling others is actually pretty simple and I’m almost ashamed to try and put it down in pixels, but it might help someone, so I’ll try.

The first point, and the most important thing you need to learn is to disengage yourself from your normal way of thinking and put yourself in the shoes of the person who you’re trying to understand.

This ain’t about you. It matters not an iota what you think about the issue at hand. It’s all about him.

Unless you think that way, you’ll never understand his views and you’ll be hard pressed to ever solve the dilemma.

Would you be as mad if you were him ?

Would you be as happy if you were him ?

What thoughts would be running thru your mind right now if you were him ?

In the past, when I’ve put myself in the shoes of a customer who’s pissed, I’ve found myself as mad at my coworkers as he was.

I try to completely disengage from my views and completely immerse myself in the situation from the other side.

This technique, if you can master it, also helps you write much better copy and find unique ways to target marketing campaigns. The ability to become the customer is worth the time it takes you to master it.

The second point is, you have to learn how to listen. Not hear, listen. And listen at least twice as much as you talk.

” In the Westen tradition, we have focused on teaching as a skill and forgotten what Socrates knew: Teaching is a gift, learning is a skill. ” ~ Peter Drucker

You have to learn to listen. It’s an acquired skill. Just because you think you know how to listen doesn’t mean you really know how. If you want the truth, ask all of your friends. If they all tell you that you’re a good listener, you probably are.

If several of them are less than enamored with your listening skills, you probably aren’t as good as you thought you were.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - The best way to make someone aware of the fact that you’re really listening to him is to quote him. Ask a question and then repeat parts of his answer before you add your thoughts.

It’s the nearest thing there is to infallible for holding or getting someone’s attention.

Quite often you can still get your point across very easily with this technique. I often get most of what I wanted, just by using this technique, even though only moments before we were diametrically opposed to each others opinions.

Why does this work ? I’ll let Thoreau tell you, as you wouldn’t believe me.

” The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer. “

In the past, I’ve mentioned the importance of a well placed compliment and how much more effective it is over flattery. They don’t mean the same thing. Not. At. All.

Make a point to study each person you meet. Turn them into a text book about human nature.

” Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. ” ~ Karl Menninger

Who doesn’t want their customers and prospects to unfold and expand ?

Won’t that make it easier to sell to them ? To find out what else they want to buy ?

That’s pretty good advice.

I hope you were listening.

Over the last few years, much has been made of the human side of selling. It should have always been front and center, because those of us who found it accidentally and those who learned it purposely have long known that it’s one of the key ingredients of a successful selling recipe.

Every time you go to a conference, seminar, sales meeting or other gathering of sales guru’s, you hear about the importance of recognizing the traits and quirks of humanity.

Is it really that important ? Of course it is. What is salesmanship if not the science of human nature ? What are prospects, customers and salespeople, if not human beings ? How else could we hope to influence them, if not by using our knowledge of human nature ?

I really am delighted that the science and art of human nature and reading it are coming into the spotlight. I’m glad salespeople are paying attention to the signs that those around them are leaving for them.

The simple fact is this: The more thoroughly a salesperson will learn and use the principles of human nature, the more successful he will become.

The biggest difference I’ve found in my couple of decades of selling is that the successful salespeople are those that can control, influence and persuade people thru the use of human nature.

Those that can’t read the signs or see the openings never make it as salespeople. Never.

Seemingly, there are a chosen few who just instinctively know what to say and when to say it.

They create a confidence in others, they suspend their disbelief and they make them comfortable.

That’s all there is to selling. That and a worthy product or service.

We call those chosen few “ Natural Born ” salespeople. Whether they were born with it or picked it up quickly is beyond such a simple being as me. I really don’t even care.

All I know is the more traits and quirks I recognize, the more I sell. The more I sell, the more I make. The more I make, the more I like it. The more I like it, the more I do of it. The more I do of it, the more I make, etc, etc.

Most salespeople have to acquire the ability to read human nature. Some do it quickly, some take years.

Those that quickly learn to read human nature, seem to understand that it’s a matter of looking for clues and reading the signs that people leave behind when they show us their pettiness, their predjudices, their preferences, their inconsistencies, their heroics, their cowardice and a hundred other traits.

After you learn all of that, then you have to test, track, experiment, lose, win and remember.

Then and only then, will you be able to use that vast knowledge to your advantage.

If you do immerse yourself in the study of human nature and how to use it to your selling advantage, you’ll never have another hobby as rewarding. I gave up a lot of hobbies as I got deeper and deeeper into my life’s study and now I set up marketing campaigns and help others tweak their sales process for sheer fun much too often for my bank accounts liking.

How do you learn the art of human nature ?

That’s easy to answer and tough to do.

Your textbook is open to you every day. Go out and read those that you come in contact with.

Prospects, customers, suppliers, vendors, family, friends, anybody you come in contact with.

One of the best salespeople I know told me that he practiced on his family until he was confident in his ability to read people.

Now, he can sell anything to anybody … within reason.

But you can’t be out and about all the time, so what can you do while you’re in front of a computer monitor to help you learn the art of human nature ?

Read the next 100 or so posts that I write in this series. Subscribe to my RSS feed and follow along as I tell story after story with lessons in reading human nature.

As always, I welcome comments, corrections and complaints. One of those will be tossed, two of those will be cherished.

Who knows, I may turn this into an ebook and use the comments, Trackbacks and additions to the conversation as part of the content.

Like I said, subscribe to the RSS feed and hang on. We be jammin’.