GM has an new swing coach, if you will.

Bob Lutz, a 77 year-old “car guy” turned image czar, will try to be the one to guide GM, and maybe all, auto manufacturers out of their doldrums of creating and approving advertising that absolutely does nothing to make you want to buy a car.

I’m guessing he must be one of the last direct marketing people left around Detroit, otherwise they would let him retire and enjoy the few years he has left.

GM’s advertising, PR and internal communications are said to be in tatters, which means they suck, in my neck of the woods.

Here’s a good start to an old problem: “That … commercial tested very well, which is not the same as saying it’s an effective ad.”

Finally, somebody above the janitor who knows that a silly-ass ad doesn’t sell. The day they started to let ad people design their marketing campaigns is the day they started to lose sales.

Advertising should have a goal. That goal shouldn’t be to entertain the general public or to “brand” GM to the untargeted masses.

“I think you will very quickly see a drastic change in the tone and content of our advertising. And if you don’t, it will mean that I have failed.”

If he doesn’t “design” their sales pieces with the end user in mind, he’s wasting his time and would be better off retiring and playing golf.

Here’s today’s key takeaway for all leaders, C-level or not:

Just because it tests well with some focus group doesn’t mean it will be an effective ad, training program, process of some kind, etc.

Effective has many meanings and I can’t possibly be targeted enough here to help everyone, but think of it this way:

Will Farrell movies make more than they cost to make. But that doesn’t mean I want to be in one, produce one or invest in one.

If it looks like a fool, smells like a fool and sounds like a fool, then it’s a fool.

It doesn’t matter if you think it’s Academy Award winning, it doesn’t matter if nobody cares enough to tell you the truth, it doesn’t matter if nobody you know is smart enough to tell the difference between Dances With Wolves and Waterworld.

Sorry Kevin.

A fool is still a fool.

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The photo is of a “sticky” note advertisement that was on the front page of the Sunday edition of my local newspaper.

Whoever wrote it must have studied under a real ad writer, instead of someone who brands, like they do to cattle.

It’s all about you, not them.

It calls you to action, gives you a reason why you should act now, tugs at your emotions, uses empathy, qualifies and disqualifies. In other words, it’s got everything…or durn close to it.

If you just spend your ad dollars promoting your brand and don’t actually ask for the reader to do anything, you’re wasting your dollars.

If you don’t…

• Use empathy
• Play on emotions
• Qualify
• Disqualify
• Call to action

…then you’re wasting your ad dollars and you need a new agency or ad writer.

Call me

It’s that simple.

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Just in case you weren’t watching, Bud Light had the worst series of Super Bowl ads they’ve ever produced.

Coke, on the other hand, went simple and easily outclassed Bud Light, who seems to have run out of inspiration … or just likes looking stupid.

The Coke spot, dubbed ” It’s mine ! ” was far better than any of Bud Light’s tired ol’ stuff. And in case you think Bud’s ads are “generational“, let me help you identify what “stupid” and “tired” look like.

Even Justin Timberlake’s Pepsi / Amazon mp3 Store ad was notches above Bud, who seemed to have just mailed in the check this year.

Justin’s commercial may actually come in a close second this year, right behind Shaq and vitaminwater.

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After the lamest commercials in Super Bowl history, we can at least say that vitaminwater easily kicked Gatorade’s butt, commercial wise.

Using Shaq as a jockey easily was the most creative commercial in 2008.

Not only did they easily have the best, Gatorade’s commercial with a dog lapping up some ‘rade was easily one of the lamest of the night and of all time.

Thanks to the censors who make it almost impossible to do anything really good, poor ol’ GoDaddy, and to the economy for being a bit shaky, we endured some really crappy commercials, but enjoyed a great football game.

My favorite part of this is I stop at a local convenience store every morning to see my buddy Jim, grab a USAToday and a vitaminwater, with the XXX pictured being my favorite so far.

Cheers to vitaminwater for having the best commercial during Super bowl XLII !

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There’s not many commercials that do anything at all for me anymore.

I watch little TV, except for a few selected sporting events and Survivor. Don’t ask, because I don’t know why I watch it, but I do.

Watching a little football a few minutes ago, I actually stayed there on FOX, I think, and watched a new, I guess, commercial from Cadillac.

After extolling all the virtues of the new Cadillac, the woman speaking ended with this gem:

” All that really matters is this: When you turn your car on, does it return the favor ? “

That is absolutely the best tagline I’ve heard in years and all of us who sell physical products, scratch that, a product of any kind should be reaching for that exact destination.

Why ? Because.

If your product turns your customers on, they’ll tell 10 people, who’ll tell 10 people and so on.

It also works in reverse.

My feed reader, FeedDemon, used to turn me on, but of late it’s been all jazzed up about wanting me to resubscribe to the online version, which is free, just to remain synchronized.

Synchronized ? It’s a paid for product, it shouldn’t need to synchronize with a free web-based app. That’s total nonsense and having to sit and delete feeds for an hour after it got unsynchronized was a pain in my ass and I’m delighted to tell everybody that it sucks when your time is wasted for a stupid reason.

FeedDemon doesn’t turn me on anymore. They owe me an hour.

I want it back.

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