If you saw the previous post, you already know that the freaks line up and take turns going to the Post Office.
Wednesday comes and I innocently go to my local Post Office. All I want to do is go in, fill out a Priority Mail envelope and mail it. As quickly and painlessly as is possible.
I’m third in line behind two ladies who shop for their clothes at Wal-Mart. How can I tell ? That’s the only place where they can buy cheap Spandex bottoms and grossly over-size t-shirts.
Sidenote: Spandex bottoms and grossly over-size t-shirts are fine if you don’t go outside. If you’re going out into the public eye, put on something else. Oh, and leave your furry house slippers at home. I don’t want to see your toes.
Lady in Spandex #1 is on her cellphone, while the clerk waits for her to tell her daughter ALL about her doctor visit. EEEWWWWW ! I really don’t want to her about your visit, your symptoms and the diagnosis. That’s what home phones and the privacy of your living room is for. Don’t talk about this stuff on a cellphone in a public place.
Cost of my time – approximately 4 minutes.
Lady in Spandex #2 is on her cellphone with her Mama. She’s telling her all about getting kicked out of her apartment, all of her bills are late, she’s got no car and she just found out she’s pregnant.
What the heck ! Can you not go see your Mama and tell her something like this in person ? The Post Office waiting line and a cellphone should not be the two vehicles for relaying this kind of info.
Finally, a nearly normal lady in jeans and a top ( REAL clothes, what a concept ! ) comes in to wait behind me. Or suffer behind me, since we have to listen to these two conversations before the clerk can help them. Or try to help them, since I’m not sure Dr. Phil AND Oprah could really help either one of these poor souls.
Lady #3 has been back there about 9 minutes, suffering with me in silence. She starts looking around the walls and nosing around the lobby. I’m figuring she’s just bored. Finally she leans over to the side of me and yells to the clerk, ” Where do I deposit this FedEx envelope ? ”
Looking at the clerk I say ” I’ll help this one, you get the other 2. ”
I look at her and in my most earnest and sincere voice I say, ” Have you thought about depositing it at a FedEx office and not at the Post Office ? ”
” You mean I can’t mail it here ? “, she asks.
” No, this is a United States Postal Service office, they don’t handle FedEx or UPS packages. ”
” Well, they should. This is gonna be more trouble than it’s worth.”
She turns around, stomps out and leaves me with the 2 Spandex queens.
I envy her for getting to leave and not having to continue to share my view from 3rd place in line.
If you ain’t the lead dog, the view never changes.
Don't miss a thing! Subscribe to our RSS Feed or sign up for our e-mail updates (in the sidebar). To leave a comment, click on the post title, then scroll down to the bottom. Thanks!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Mike, I came across your blog from a comment you made on Cubans’. Obviously you are full of your own selling powers, but you ought to educate yourself about the things you bitch about. Like this entry-FedEx set up drop boxes at Post Offices’ last year. See http://www.usps.com/news/2001/press/pr01_015.htm
So perhaps that woman looking for the box wasn’t as stupid as you thought…she knew to look there, and you didn’t.
bewert,
I sent you an email.
Thanks for stopping by !