Book Review: Listening: The Forgotten Skill
Last week I wrote a post about The Art of Handling Others. One of the best comments came from Tony Clark, who blogs and ‘toons over at Success From The Nest. Tony’s as skilled with words as he is with ‘toons, so I asked ( begged ) him to create a graphic for me for an upcoming ebook and I asked ( begged ) him to write a review of the book he mentions in his comment.
One short week later, I have both. The graphic will remain hidden until I turn loose of the ebook, but the book review is yours today for the low price of a couple of minutes invested in reading.
Turn on your listener and prepare to be learned …. here’s Tony !
Do you know how to listen? Listening is very different than hearing, and it’s one of the most important skills a business person can have.
A few years ago, in an effort to improve my own listening skills, I found the book ” Listening: The Forgotten Skill ” by Madelyn Burley-Allen. It has continually been a valuable resource, one that I frequently recommend to my clients.
From a sales and business perspective, being able to really listen to the needs of your customers can greatly improve your relationships. In this age of choice, it’s more important than ever to establish yourself as someone who can clearly understand your customers’ needs. “Listening” uses a variety of tools and exercises to help you better understand this art of listening.
Using the same basic format of other Wiley Self-Teaching Guides, “Listening” utilizes the framework of a self study guide. More than just a reference, it uses Burley-Allen’s real-world methods to show you how to (from the back cover):
- Eliminate distractions and improve your concentration on what is being said
- Locate key words, phrases, and ideas while listening
- Cut through your own listening biases
- Interpret body language clues
- Ask constructive, nonthreatening questions that elicit real information
- Get others to listen to you
- Master a whole range of listening skills that you can use on the job and in your personal life.
To me, the book does a great job because it gets right to the point - and to practical exercises that help develop your listening skills. Rather than spending time analyzing why we need to listen, or the fact that most of us don’t, the majority of the book focuses on teaching us how.
At right around 200 pages, it is packed with useful tools and is light on theory. I think we already know why we need help being better listeners. What we need is the pragmatics to improve – and “Listening” does an excellent job of delivering.
Thanks again Tony. How’s that for asking and receiving ? There’s a rare trait in today’s world, it’s called doing what you say.
The book, by the way, is available at Amazon for around $8.75 used and $12.89 new.
Now, everybody click thru and read Tony’s blog, subscribe to his feed and generally help me thank him.
The 7 Deadly Wants Of Salesmanship
In my last post, I wrote about how my bank gave me what I wanted. Did they do it just for me ? Of course not, but my satisfaction was a great byproduct… for me anyway.
When you find a way to give a customer what he wants, you’ll affect more than that one customer, so it’s worth the extra effort to listen, learn and implement.
Every time I hear someone talk about sales, they always give their list of they think a customer wants. I might as well join in on the fun and do it too. So without further ado, here’s the …
1) They Want Health - That’s why there are billions of dollars worth of neutraceuticals sold every year.
2) They Want Wealth - It’s a dominant motivation in our lives and it’s why we’ll put up with discomfort, forego leisure and generally work hard at trying to get out of work.
3) They Want Admiration - Remember this one. It’s one of the top 3 motivators that encourage people to buy. Vanity is pure gold to those that can implement it into their selling strategy.
4) They Have Appetities That Need Gratification - Hunger. Thirst. Companionship. Love. Sex. Acceptance. Destruction.
5) They Want To Be Entertained - That’s why the movie industry has made the gazillions of dollars that it has. That’s the reason for books, magazines, amusement parks, etc.
6) They Want Security - If you want to make more sales, make your prospect feel secure, comfortable, accepted, safe. That alone will sometimes move him from prospect to customer.
7) They Want To Improve - E. Haldeman-Julius sold over $200,000,000 of his little blue books on this premise alone. That’s more than enough reason to work it into your selling strategy.
What good is a list like this to a salesman ? Simple. Just work as many of these into your approaches as you can, without overdoing them and your sales will increase.
This would be a great time for y’all to give me some examples of how you’ve done this in the past or how you’re going to add one or more of these inot your future sales strategy.
How Often Do You Get What You Ask For ?
Back in May I wrote about how I wished that my bank, Chase, would remember my preferences for the amounts I usually withdraw, the language I use and all those other tedious actions that never change and slow down an ATM transaction.
Tomorrow is finally here and all is well in the bankosphere. Chase has come thru by making ATM transacations faster, more intuitive and simpler. You know I like simple.
I just went in and set my preferences to English, because they didn’t list Kentuckian as one of the available languages. English is close, but lacks a little color when compared to Kentuckian as a language.
I also set it to always print a receipt and set some of my favorite amounts for withdrawal.
Now I’m out the door to test it out by grabbin’ some QuickChoice cash and heading to Cracker Barrel. I did say I was Kentuckian, didn’t I ?
Thanks to Chase for leading the way or for giving me my way. I really don’t care which it was, I just want what I want.
How about you guys, does your bank do this ? Do they plan to ? If not, hop over to the Chase corporate site and find your nearest location. Then go open an account and tell ‘em Mike sent you.
Yes, I Know That’s An Affiliate Link …
Forgive me for being a little behind, but I’ve been a little behind most of my life, in more ways than one. Sometimes a BIG behind.
I’m going thru my Feed Demon 2 feed reader, which I love, and I notice Seth Godin’s post from earlier today. It’s called Clarifications and in it he basically said that yes, he knew it was an affiliate link that was in a post he linked to and for those that wasted his and their time emailing him to get over it.
” 2. In response to my post on baby bottles, several readers pointed out that the writer has an Amazon affiliate account. So what? She’s not recommending Amazon, she’s recommending a product sold on Amazon… out of the millions to choose from. Amazon’s affiliate deal is brilliant precisely because it enables you to make strong recommendations without feeling like the commission has anything at all to do with it.
3. And finally, just because I note something on my blog (like a marketing program that might be a little scammy for example), it doesn’t mean I’m recommending it. Just noting it! Your mileage will certainly vary. “
I totally agree. Totally.
Why is everybody so afraid of affiliate links ? If you see something you want, buy it. If you don’t, don’t buy it.
I wonder if Paul Harvey gets email and phone calls every time he talks about products in his radio show ? I’ll bet he doesn’t.
He’s a running dialogue of affiliate products, one after another after another. And everybody loves him and radio stations pay big dollars to syndicte his affiliate spiels.
Do people not think that someone should get paid for suggesting a product ?
Everything you buy, you bought because someone suggested it to you.
Think about it for a minute before you grab the cloak of indignancy and wrap your pure hearts against the evils of someone selling and making a few pennies to do so.
Do you not think the guy in the tire shop gets paid to help you pick out tires ?
Do you not think the lady in the Men’s Department at Kohl’s gets paid to suggest that you buy a light green tie to go with your gray suit ?
Does the young lady that asks me if I want cream and sugar at McDonald’s not get paid ? Is she any less worthy of my undying thanks because she’s not a volunteer ?
Here’s my take - I have more money than time and I have more to do than look for every freakin’ possible upsell and option. Suggest something to me and save me from looking for it and I’ll put you in my prayers.
If all you have to do is look at every link and see if it’s an affiliate link or not … you need a life and more to do.
Don’t even start with the sillyass crap I’ve read about bloggers needing to be transparent.
” We’ll unsubscribe if we even think you’re trying to make money off of us “, you say.
Good. See ya.
Did you sell your TV because they played a commercial ?
Did you take out your radio because of the commercials ?
Did you cancel your newspaper subscription because of ads ?
If so, you need a life and to take a sabbatical from the ‘net for a few weeks. We’ll all live fine without you and the snow white horse you galloped in on.
Where would your paycheck come from if nobody in your organization ever sold anything ?
Can You Say No And Give Customer Service ?
Recently I’ve gotten some great feedback and comments from two people who have great info to share on their sites/blogs.
In the spirit of Link Leaks, since I coined that phrase several months ago, I’m going to leak some links and spread a little link love on two people who’ve linked to and spread the love towards me.
First we’ll travel to Florida, I think, to visit Doug, who writes Service Untitled.
” Know the power of “Yes.” Saying yes is so important to customer service. The advice the articles gives (when you get a request that is at least somewhat feasible, say Yes and then figure out how to do it). This is going the extra mile, and your customers will appreciate it. Say no as little as possible and do what you can to fulfill your customers’ requests and make them happy. “
There’s a lot of good info about customer service over there and I suggest you check him out.
Next, we’ll travel to St. Louis, where my Cardinals play, to visit Dr. Kim DeMotte, the man behind The Power of No. One point of real interest for me over there is Catch and Release Prospecting.
” It is a program that teaches companies that all prospects are not equal, and shows salespeople how to quickly identify their best and worst prospects. CATCH & RELEASE creates a filter system that keeps costly sales resources from being wasted on marginal prospects while identifying MORE quality prospects. “
Doesn’t that sound like a winning strategy for every salesperson ? It does to me and Kim says it’s scalable, so it’ll work for one-man-shows, as well as multi-national corporations.
Give these guys a visit and let me know what you think.
PS - Use your favorite search engine, mine is Google, to see hoe many instances of “link leak” are out there. I see 15,300 when I use quotes.
PS2 - Which do you like …. Yes or No ?
The Art Of Handling Others
One of the most valuable skills you, as a salesperson, can learn is how to handle people successfully. When you become a master at this, you’ll be able to handle almost any situation and you’ll be in demand as an employee, as a supplier, as a coworker, as a friend and as a leader.
Being in demand means being in control. Being in control means you write your own ticket. If you write your own ticket and aren’t happy with what you write, well, I can’t help you with that.
Salespeople, of all the career paths out there, need to master The Art of Handling Others. Handling others is actually pretty simple and I’m almost ashamed to try and put it down in pixels, but it might help someone, so I’ll try.
The first point, and the most important thing you need to learn is to disengage yourself from your normal way of thinking and put yourself in the shoes of the person who you’re trying to understand.
This ain’t about you. It matters not an iota what you think about the issue at hand. It’s all about him.
Unless you think that way, you’ll never understand his views and you’ll be hard pressed to ever solve the dilemma.
Would you be as mad if you were him ?
Would you be as happy if you were him ?
What thoughts would be running thru your mind right now if you were him ?
In the past, when I’ve put myself in the shoes of a customer who’s pissed, I’ve found myself as mad at my coworkers as he was.
I try to completely disengage from my views and completely immerse myself in the situation from the other side.
This technique, if you can master it, also helps you write much better copy and find unique ways to target marketing campaigns. The ability to become the customer is worth the time it takes you to master it.
The second point is, you have to learn how to listen. Not hear, listen. And listen at least twice as much as you talk.
” In the Westen tradition, we have focused on teaching as a skill and forgotten what Socrates knew: Teaching is a gift, learning is a skill. ” ~ Peter Drucker
You have to learn to listen. It’s an acquired skill. Just because you think you know how to listen doesn’t mean you really know how. If you want the truth, ask all of your friends. If they all tell you that you’re a good listener, you probably are.
If several of them are less than enamored with your listening skills, you probably aren’t as good as you thought you were.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - The best way to make someone aware of the fact that you’re really listening to him is to quote him. Ask a question and then repeat parts of his answer before you add your thoughts.
It’s the nearest thing there is to infallible for holding or getting someone’s attention.
Quite often you can still get your point across very easily with this technique. I often get most of what I wanted, just by using this technique, even though only moments before we were diametrically opposed to each others opinions.
Why does this work ? I’ll let Thoreau tell you, as you wouldn’t believe me.
” The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer. “
In the past, I’ve mentioned the importance of a well placed compliment and how much more effective it is over flattery. They don’t mean the same thing. Not. At. All.
Make a point to study each person you meet. Turn them into a text book about human nature.
” Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. ” ~ Karl Menninger
Who doesn’t want their customers and prospects to unfold and expand ?
Won’t that make it easier to sell to them ? To find out what else they want to buy ?
That’s pretty good advice.
I hope you were listening.
The Secrets Revealed: Learn The Art Of Human Nature To Become A More Successful Salesperson
Over the last few years, much has been made of the human side of selling. It should have always been front and center, because those of us who found it accidentally and those who learned it purposely have long known that it’s one of the key ingredients of a successful selling recipe.
Every time you go to a conference, seminar, sales meeting or other gathering of sales guru’s, you hear about the importance of recognizing the traits and quirks of humanity.
Is it really that important ? Of course it is. What is salesmanship if not the science of human nature ? What are prospects, customers and salespeople, if not human beings ? How else could we hope to influence them, if not by using our knowledge of human nature ?
I really am delighted that the science and art of human nature and reading it are coming into the spotlight. I’m glad salespeople are paying attention to the signs that those around them are leaving for them.
The simple fact is this: The more thoroughly a salesperson will learn and use the principles of human nature, the more successful he will become.
The biggest difference I’ve found in my couple of decades of selling is that the successful salespeople are those that can control, influence and persuade people thru the use of human nature.
Those that can’t read the signs or see the openings never make it as salespeople. Never.
Seemingly, there are a chosen few who just instinctively know what to say and when to say it.
They create a confidence in others, they suspend their disbelief and they make them comfortable.
That’s all there is to selling. That and a worthy product or service.
We call those chosen few “ Natural Born ” salespeople. Whether they were born with it or picked it up quickly is beyond such a simple being as me. I really don’t even care.
All I know is the more traits and quirks I recognize, the more I sell. The more I sell, the more I make. The more I make, the more I like it. The more I like it, the more I do of it. The more I do of it, the more I make, etc, etc.
Most salespeople have to acquire the ability to read human nature. Some do it quickly, some take years.
Those that quickly learn to read human nature, seem to understand that it’s a matter of looking for clues and reading the signs that people leave behind when they show us their pettiness, their predjudices, their preferences, their inconsistencies, their heroics, their cowardice and a hundred other traits.
After you learn all of that, then you have to test, track, experiment, lose, win and remember.
Then and only then, will you be able to use that vast knowledge to your advantage.
If you do immerse yourself in the study of human nature and how to use it to your selling advantage, you’ll never have another hobby as rewarding. I gave up a lot of hobbies as I got deeper and deeeper into my life’s study and now I set up marketing campaigns and help others tweak their sales process for sheer fun much too often for my bank accounts liking.
How do you learn the art of human nature ?
That’s easy to answer and tough to do.
Your textbook is open to you every day. Go out and read those that you come in contact with.
Prospects, customers, suppliers, vendors, family, friends, anybody you come in contact with.
One of the best salespeople I know told me that he practiced on his family until he was confident in his ability to read people.
Now, he can sell anything to anybody … within reason.
But you can’t be out and about all the time, so what can you do while you’re in front of a computer monitor to help you learn the art of human nature ?
Read the next 100 or so posts that I write in this series. Subscribe to my RSS feed and follow along as I tell story after story with lessons in reading human nature.
As always, I welcome comments, corrections and complaints. One of those will be tossed, two of those will be cherished.
Who knows, I may turn this into an ebook and use the comments, Trackbacks and additions to the conversation as part of the content.
Like I said, subscribe to the RSS feed and hang on. We be jammin’.
What Do You Know About Your Customers ?
After I wrote a post that Brandon used over at SalesTeamTools.com, I started thinking about what we, as salespeople, need to know about current and potential customers.
I’ve come up with a preliminary list of things you need to know, but I’m hoping you can add to it and then we can disseminate it, with all credit to those who contribute, at some point in the future.
Here’s my list, feel free to add to it and assume your place in the big link leak in the future.
1) Their business, their customers and theirmarket, their primary product.
2) How big they are and their place within their market.
3) Who does the real buying ? Who has influence on those buying decisions ?
4) How often do they buy and in what quantity ?
5) What was their total revenue last year ? How much of that is influenced by your product ?
6) Who is their biggest, most problematic competitor ? How much product do you sell to that competitor ?
7) What’s their financial standing ? Do they pay their creditors on time or use the money for as long as possible and try to use their suppliers to finance their ventures ?
What news have they announced that might affect the product you sell them ?
9) Do they need your product ? Do they value your company or just tolerate you ?
10) What other problems do they have that you can sell the solution for ?
There’s the stater fluid, now you need to add more coals or the fire won’t last long.
Simply Bluegrass Saturday Night
You guys will have to forgive me for not writing a Saturday Night Special post.
The Simple One, that’s me, has left the building.
My good friend, Ricky Skaggs, is in town for a concert at The Big E and my family and I are in the front row, enjoying some great bluegrass music and some fine food.
If there’s anything besides college basketball that we Kentuckians know about, it’s Bar-B-Que and Bluegrass. Our native son, Ricky Skaggs and his band, Kentucky Thunder are the epitome of bluegrass for us Kentuckians.
I’ll be back tomorrow with some simple ways to sell more of your product.
PS - Ricky and I went to different schools together, ’bout about 8 years apart.
PS2 - This post contains several instances of link leak. Don’t be alarmed, it’s not dangerous.
Staying In Control Leads To More Sales
Over the last 10+ years, I’ve conducted a private study of salesmen. I’ve kept it private and I’ve not documented every single iota, but the results are certainly valid and I believe after you read my findings, you’ll agree with me.
I wanted to find out how many sales people can stay in control of an interview, a presentation or a sales call.
Every salesperson who has had the misfortune to call on me during those years has been part of the test.
I’ve gone about my testing by asking off-the-wall questions and by making disconcerting comments during their time with me to see how they’d get me back on track and guide me towards their hopeful end result.
I’ve pushed products to the far side of a table, I’ve stopped them mid-sentence and I’ve asked goofy questions at inopportune times and watched the horror cross their faces, wondering what the heck was wrong with me.
After all of this time, I’ve come to the conclusion that at least 80% and maybe even near 90% of sales people have no idea as to how to get a prospect back on track once he breaks their script.
That would lead me to believe that the customer is in control, most of the time and that’s not good for sales people.
Do you think I’ve concluded properly or have I skewed the results in some way ?
If I’m right, then I’d be a hero if I could tell you three things to do to control a presentation. So here’s three things and send me my hero button.
1) Never be afraid of silence. If a prospect looks like he’s gone off into la-la land, let him ride the wave and wait for his return.
When you’re tired of the blank stare, ask a question. Questions that have to be answered with several words, rather than a yes or no are the best offense, especially if you already know the answer.
2) Never let go of of the control. Ask questions that lead to your next question. Compliment the prospects statements.
” You just said the magic words, Earl. ” Do you think Earl’s going to wander off if he’s finding out how smart he really is. Quote him and keep him around long enough to finish your guided tour that ends with you getting money.
3) Use physical actions to establish control. Standing up at just the right moment is one technique that works well. Handing him a sample or sheet of paper is another way to establish control. Stretching your shoulders or making a motion with a shoulder will make you the focus of his attention and give you a few precious seconds to get your point across.
Don’t let go of the steering wheeel in the first palce, but if you do lose control, there’s a few ways to get it back.
Do you have any examples of how you take control away from a salesman or how you, as a salesperson, get or keep control ?
